This past weekend I revisited SUNY Fredonia in celebration of my sorority's ten year anniversary. Visiting my old campus resurfaced sooo many fond memories. I treaded some of the same paths I once walked daily as we were engaged in activity with the intent of seeing the campus in its current state with all the changes the years have brought. You know that feeling you used to have as a child, of being in a certain "someplace" that you considered to be special, and thinking that that "someplace" was larger than life? Then revisiting it later, many years down the line, and standing in that same place which used to make you gasp and feel wowed, you take a look around and you suddenly see things for what they truly are? This visit made me feel more complacent with life now more than ever. I no longer want to relive my college days as I once did. Indeed, those were some of my fondest memories, and I owe sooo much of who I am to my days as a sorority girl, working hard towards my degree. It was then, that I felt like an adult. Now, looking back, and having experienced life outside of college, I feel that it's the challenges after college life which truly help you earn adult status. College is just a primer for what is yet to come. It's once you are thrown off your path, and that there are no longer any guidelines to follow that the true challenges lay. Talking to some of the girls which i had met who are going through the pre-graduation jitters, in a vodka induced preach I tried to explain that only the best was yet to come. Yes it is scary, and yes it is not easy. However, the learning process which is yet to follow is sooo much more rewarding. The years yet to come are the years which you will discover more about yourself than you ever imagined. It was in that moment that I was speaking to these girls that I had my sudden epiphany and that I felt all its purpose.
It's living in your twenties that you go through a series of stages within discovering yourself:
19-21
These are the years which you are looking to define yourself. For most, the first few years without any parental restriction. For college students, you are defining yourself within a major, and are working towards what you believe will be your profession in the long run. 21 is the year you are now considered "legal" to drink, therefor making you a legal adult. It's all balls to the wall. You are young, and suddenly feel invincible. Life is fun, and you are embracing your newfound freedom, living life frivolously because you can.
21-23
The years which reality starts to sink in. The party animal in you has dwindled down slightly, and your concerns begin to revolve around what your next steps are going to be once college has ended. Soon again, you are faced with new life altering decisions ie. Graduates school, interviews and internships in your career field, looking towards becoming financially independent, for many 23 is the cut off from mom and dad's tab. Now you are suddenly forced to make your own decisions, pay your own loans, find your way through any debt, and start thinking about big boy and girl stuff such as discovering the value in health insurance, monitoring your use of water and electric. For those who have gone through college, your best friends, the bars, and every other thing that you want and need are no longer at your convenience. 23 was the year which I felt more lost than ever. I felt as if I was starting all over. I had a degree, but was working odd jobs, I was overwhelmed with the newfound responsibilities that life brought upon me and I no longer felt defined. I didn't have a major that I was working towards. I briefly went to RIT in pursuit of a graduates degree in Fine Arts because I thought that was the answer, but just realized thousands of dollars into my first semester that I didn't even want to teach. This is the point where life sucks for awhile, and which you are struggling to regain an identity that has been lost, due to having to re-adjust your life. College begins to look more and more like an educated resort and the furthest thing from true reality. 22 and 23 I found myself trying to find new true friends to confide in, people I could be my true self around. I found myself being a little overly trusting, because I soo badly wanted to find a solid group of individuals to love and to be loved by in return to fill the void of all the friends that were suddenly long distant.
23-25
Relationship solidification. Rediscovering one's self.
No longer did I care to invest my time in the people, the jobs, and all things
possessing no relevance to who I am and the person I am striving to become. It was during this stage that I met and fell in love with some of my most caring friends, and which my friends became my family again. They were the people I worked with, the people that always came to support me at my shows, my band members, the ones I shared my heart with and whom were always there during the more difficult times. It was also here which I fell in love with my life partner and soul mate. It was during these crucial years which I resorted to what and who has always made me feel happiest to be me. I felt empowered again, and ready to focus on making something out of myself by applying all skill, education, talent, and motivation to become something more. Suddenly I felt defined again, all on my own terms, and had gained a new focus and positive perspective.
26-28
Seven days till I enter this new age bracket. Not sure what to expect, but am open to all possibilities, and am looking forward to experiencing what more life has to offer.
28-30
Again not there yet. But can only imagine the positive possibilities……..
Obviously I can only write from my experiences, and my experiences do not apply to all. Everyone I'm sure has their own individual systematic breakdown, and has been taught something a little different through their own experiences. What is undeniable is that we as humans are constantly learning, and evolving. There's always room to become further educated, and to constantly discover something new. With sooo much life still ahead, there is sooo much more to learn in the process. I've known many to have a crisis with each years passing. What is there really to be afraid of? With each passing year you gain a new perspective, maybe some new friends, possess some new skills, gain new experiences, and if you've lived your life right, hopefully are a better version of the "you" you were one year ago. I'll forever be gratuitous for those who have inspired me to discover these things at an early age. Life is too short to not be lived happily, and to it's fullest potential. Take a look around you, and let those in your life know that you love them and are grateful for all they've given you. With all the devastation that is currently taking place on the other side of this world, and all the heartbreak and suffering that people are experiencing as I write this, and as you read this, I hope that you will take this small piece of advice into consideration.
It's living in your twenties that you go through a series of stages within discovering yourself:
19-21
These are the years which you are looking to define yourself. For most, the first few years without any parental restriction. For college students, you are defining yourself within a major, and are working towards what you believe will be your profession in the long run. 21 is the year you are now considered "legal" to drink, therefor making you a legal adult. It's all balls to the wall. You are young, and suddenly feel invincible. Life is fun, and you are embracing your newfound freedom, living life frivolously because you can.
21-23
The years which reality starts to sink in. The party animal in you has dwindled down slightly, and your concerns begin to revolve around what your next steps are going to be once college has ended. Soon again, you are faced with new life altering decisions ie. Graduates school, interviews and internships in your career field, looking towards becoming financially independent, for many 23 is the cut off from mom and dad's tab. Now you are suddenly forced to make your own decisions, pay your own loans, find your way through any debt, and start thinking about big boy and girl stuff such as discovering the value in health insurance, monitoring your use of water and electric. For those who have gone through college, your best friends, the bars, and every other thing that you want and need are no longer at your convenience. 23 was the year which I felt more lost than ever. I felt as if I was starting all over. I had a degree, but was working odd jobs, I was overwhelmed with the newfound responsibilities that life brought upon me and I no longer felt defined. I didn't have a major that I was working towards. I briefly went to RIT in pursuit of a graduates degree in Fine Arts because I thought that was the answer, but just realized thousands of dollars into my first semester that I didn't even want to teach. This is the point where life sucks for awhile, and which you are struggling to regain an identity that has been lost, due to having to re-adjust your life. College begins to look more and more like an educated resort and the furthest thing from true reality. 22 and 23 I found myself trying to find new true friends to confide in, people I could be my true self around. I found myself being a little overly trusting, because I soo badly wanted to find a solid group of individuals to love and to be loved by in return to fill the void of all the friends that were suddenly long distant.
23-25
Relationship solidification. Rediscovering one's self.
No longer did I care to invest my time in the people, the jobs, and all things
possessing no relevance to who I am and the person I am striving to become. It was during this stage that I met and fell in love with some of my most caring friends, and which my friends became my family again. They were the people I worked with, the people that always came to support me at my shows, my band members, the ones I shared my heart with and whom were always there during the more difficult times. It was also here which I fell in love with my life partner and soul mate. It was during these crucial years which I resorted to what and who has always made me feel happiest to be me. I felt empowered again, and ready to focus on making something out of myself by applying all skill, education, talent, and motivation to become something more. Suddenly I felt defined again, all on my own terms, and had gained a new focus and positive perspective.
26-28
Seven days till I enter this new age bracket. Not sure what to expect, but am open to all possibilities, and am looking forward to experiencing what more life has to offer.
28-30
Again not there yet. But can only imagine the positive possibilities……..
Obviously I can only write from my experiences, and my experiences do not apply to all. Everyone I'm sure has their own individual systematic breakdown, and has been taught something a little different through their own experiences. What is undeniable is that we as humans are constantly learning, and evolving. There's always room to become further educated, and to constantly discover something new. With sooo much life still ahead, there is sooo much more to learn in the process. I've known many to have a crisis with each years passing. What is there really to be afraid of? With each passing year you gain a new perspective, maybe some new friends, possess some new skills, gain new experiences, and if you've lived your life right, hopefully are a better version of the "you" you were one year ago. I'll forever be gratuitous for those who have inspired me to discover these things at an early age. Life is too short to not be lived happily, and to it's fullest potential. Take a look around you, and let those in your life know that you love them and are grateful for all they've given you. With all the devastation that is currently taking place on the other side of this world, and all the heartbreak and suffering that people are experiencing as I write this, and as you read this, I hope that you will take this small piece of advice into consideration.
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