No, I'm not referring to the most over requested song in history. A free SONG bird; spreading her wings, flying forcefully against the wind, to the soundtrack of a rhythmically beating heart. I worry and question that this high may lead to unrealistic expectations, but am willing to gamble the odds. This entire week in Nashville has helped me again exhale without feeling a quiver. I've surrounded myself with friends, new and old, some of which have even taken the plunge and moved from Rochester. I often entertain the idea of moving, and having good friends already established in music city makes it all that more tempting to pack my bags and leave. However, this time around, knowing that I no longer have anything holding me back, I am peering through my bold blue frames with fresh lenses.
I've been taking it all in; the good and bad, questioning the thoughts and experiences of those who have made the move, and sending out some feelers as to whether or not I believe moving is in my cards. Moving sucks. I've been moving this entire month and a half out of my house and it's daunting and exhausting. I really want to cautiously progress with every next step and stage of my life here forward. The necessity to invest a considerable amount of thought into my next move, has led to my development of Plan A, B and C. Fantasy, Fall backs, and reality. Time to put them in motion.
This past week has had me thinking a whole lot, raising many questions for me to explore: Being in the land of dreamers, doers and believers, I wonder if a compromised balance can be found between them all? Is one the catalyst for the other? Does how much we believe in ourselves determine our will to push forward in "doing" what deems to be necessary in order to bring us one step closer to our dreams? Does one's failure to persevere through those crippling times diminish the competition on the other's behalf, pushing them ahead, making them more fit for survival? These questions, I've stored in the back of my mind and am constantly considering.
It's been a week of binging on music and whisky. However, inch by inch the pins and needles from what has detained me back at home have been ejected, and slowly I've begun stitching back together the pieces of my heart.